B1006-3 The Words We Use

THE DIPHTHONG VERDERBERS:   Do you know what bothers me the most about the current Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) scandal?  It is neither the reprehensible things that man did, nor the sheer depth of knavery he showed in his shenanigans behind his wife’s back.  Those things are bad enough in themselves.  It’s not that.  Rather, it’s the habit of journalists to call the man by a word that sounds to me like “weener.”

     Now, I understand the smirky, eight-year-old’s attraction for double-entendre, and there have been endless examples of simpering journalists snickering their way through Mr. Weiner’s indiscretions.  It’s been great fun for journalists to link this sexual scandal with body parts.

     But there is a problem with that.  There already exists a name for an object that is pronounced “weener.”  It is spelled wiener, after the Austrian city (i.e., Wien, or Vienna to you), where those ballpark favorites were originally invented.  Mr. Weiner’s name should be pronounced as “whiner.”  If you do not believe me, consult any German dictionary with a pronouncing guide for diphthongs.  Here’s the rule: I before E is pronounced as E; E before I is pronounced as I.

 
     In the United States we regularly ignore those rules.  Most of us are familiar with something called “Bayer Aspirin.”  We say “bay-er” here instead of the more correct “buy-er.”  We call our “Braun Electric Razors” with a word that sounds like “brawn” instead of “brown.”  We regularly mangle those diphthong-laced words.

     But journalists have given us oddities that must make the rest of the world wonder greatly at our inability to say simple words.  Are you familiar with Chernobyl?  “Cher-noble” is actually pronounced something like “Chairna bwill”  Hezbolla?  It’s actually “Hezb Allah” instead of the “Hez Bollah” that we often hear.

     Most beginning students of the German language encounter the descriptive phrase, Deutsch verderber (meaning “German destroyer or murderer”) when they mispronounce or mangle German words and phrases.  German language instructors love to apply that label to students.  We should have a similar word for journalists who call Anthony Weiner anything except “Anthony Whiner,” even with the enticements of the double-entendre they find in “weener.”